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Challenge |
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1st January |
Add accessories; dressing up in lingerie or using silk ties and restraints. There is a science behind lingerie and confidence. Challenge yourself to wear lingerie or even matching underwear before engaging in sex / foreplay or masturbation and see the difference. Accessories such as silk ties can be used to enhance sexual experience. If used as a blindfold this means that the rest of the senses can flourish. If used to tie up hands or feet, this means it’s dipping into dom and sub play (BDSM). |
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2nd January |
Get talking. If you're in a partnership, get talking to your partner about what you most enjoy in the bedroom, and what you’re happy to leave in 2023. A good way to do this and break the ice is to use truth or dare cards. If solo, write down a journal entry of when and how your best solo orgasms take place, and observe any patterns in these you’d like to take into 2024. |
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3rd January |
Get romantic. Romance means different things to us all. If romance to you is the traditional roses and chocolate, then prioritise today to put time aside to indulge in exactly that with your partner. Or yourself! Putting time aside for this act of romance (no matter how big or small) will help to build intimacy and doesn’t have to end in sex. It’s just building closeness with yourself or your partner to lead to overall better sex. |
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4th January |
Try something out of your ordinary. What have you never tried before? Some lesser used foreplay techniques we like are; Heat play (heating and cooling lubes or ice cubes) and food play (edible lube and food used externally on the body). We challenge you to try these tonight even if it’s alone, to spice up the mood and open the gateway to trying something entirely new. |
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5th January |
Try edging. Have a battle with who can last longest without having an orgasm while engaging in sexual acts with edging, a sexual practice that involves controlling or delaying an orgasm to extend physical arousal. You can also do this solo and try to beat your best time. |
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6th January |
Get out of bed. Try to engage in sexual activity outside of your bed. This can be with a partner or alone. Try somewhere that you feel safe and comfortable to do so and see the sparks fly due to a change of scenery. |
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7th January |
Get wet. Literally. We suggest taking a toy to the shower or bath if you’re solo (always check your toys are waterproof – all of ours are). Or if you have a partner, invite them into the water with you and experiment with foreplay or toy use together in the bath or shower. Always be careful when experimenting in water. |
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Explore ethical porn. Introduce yourself to the world of ethical porn. This is something you can do with your partner or by yourself. And if you’re not too into watching other people engage in sexual activity, try to make your own (only ever do this in scenarios you feel 100% safe and comfortable in). If this is not your idea of fun, perhaps fantasize about what you and your partner would do if you had the opportunity to create a porn film, or solo. |
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Try audio porn. Explore the world of audio porn with your partner and incorporate sex and toy use to get you both in the mood. You can also do this alone with your favourite toys. |
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Try erotic fiction: Reading erotic fiction is a great way to get your imagination going. You can do this with a partner by reading each other segments of erotic fiction while playing with toys or each other. You can also do this solo with your favourite toy. |
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Try erotic films: Having an erotic film on in the background whilst you and your partner have sex and use toys can be a great way to build sexual tension. Watching (ethical) porn alone is also another way to increase libido and teamed with a toy can make for a great sexual experience. |
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Try making your own erotic content: Take some sexy photos or a video of yourself masturbating for yourself or to share with your partner (only do this if you trust and know your partner very well) to delve into content creation and see yourself in a new light. |
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Make a list of what you enjoyed most last year about your sex life. Do any orgasms or even just sexual encounters stand out? This can be with yourself or solo. Once you’ve made your list, try to identify patterns and see if you can understand what exactly made them special to you. Once you’ve worked this out, make a conscious effort to being them in to 2024. Could it be a particular time of day or place? Feel free to share this list with your partner and ask them to do one too to compare notes. |
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Is there anything at all that you’ve gotten into the habit of doing in your sex life or solo masturbation life that you’d like to leave in 2023? Make a note of these things and keep in mind how you can avoid them again this year. Is there a toy, place or time that doesn’t currently work for you but you’re in the habit of using anyway? Try to consciously leave these behind. Feel free to share this list with your partner but be mindful of approaching the situation with tact and care as it can be sensitive for some people to hear constructive criticism around sex. |
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Use positive affirmations: Positive affirmations are a simple yet powerful way to trick our minds into thinking we're confident, even if we don’t feel it. Some examples of positive affirmations are: "I am worthy no matter what my body may I look like." "I am beautiful inside and out." "I am more than my body." Find one that resonates and say it often to yourself. |
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Mirror work: Looking in the mirror and praising your body can be a daunting thought, however the more you look at your body and get comfortable with it, the more you will grow to accepting it and giving it pleasure. Whether you are naked or wearing clothes, take some time out of your day to admire your body. If you can work affirmations into this, even better! |
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Gratitude/mindset change: Make a list of what you appreciate most about your body, and if you have a partner do the same for them and their bodies. Appreciating your body for what it is, and how it currently is will allow for you to love it more and therefore feel more confident and happier to let more love in. |